The more life I live, the more I realize how valuable this important resource is. And here at Luminary, it is at the literal foundation of everything we do–start the business of your dreams with a friend you deeply admire and cherish? Check! Create retreats and courses where women learn, grow and support each other? Check!
But how do we really create the types of friendships that helps us to be seen, to open up and to move toward the kind of life we dream of? Many of us have friends we care about deeply, but don’t have a clear way as busy, pulled in a thousand directions, “balancing it all” women to connect more intentionally with other women in a way that anchors and transforms.
For so long the message for most of us from popular culture is: do what it takes to make yourself desirable for a life partner, and then once you have that your life will be complete. But what happens if you don’t find that life partner? Or you do, and then you quickly realize that one person cannot meet all of your emotional and relational needs? As women we have an important opportunity here. We have the opportunity to move toward relationships with our friends that deeply nourish and sustain us through the highs and lows in our shared adventure of living.
If we’re to make a shift toward a deeper investment in our friendships, then we also have to shift our personal sense of worth as women. Popular culture has encouraged us to define our self worth by being prettier than, skinnier than, smarter than, more capable than, with the better partner than, with a more ideal family than, more successful in our jobs than the other women around us. When we agree to this, we set ourselves up to be in a comparison competition. Can anyone relate to the compare and despair trap? Competing for the perfect partner. The perfect family. The perfect looking career. You either “win” against this woman, who compared to her you feel like you’ve got a leg up. Or you “lose” against this other woman, whose Instagram feed lets you know that your life is SO NOT as together as hers is. And when we compete in our relationships, whether we win or lose in comparison, either way we are left all alone.
Luminaries, let’s revolutionize the standard for friendship between women. We envision women everywhere coming together to build small circles of mutual support, trust and intimacy. Let’s join together to create growth-producing, life-sustaining and passion-igniting friendships that move us all closer to the kind of women we really want to be in this world.
Create a Women’s Well Group
Invite 3-5 women to join your Women’s Well Group. Rotate who “hosts” the Well gathering and everyone can bring some yummy food to share. Find a place that is relaxed, private, and cozy for conversation and sharing. Decide as a group if the gatherings will be activity based or not, but let opening up about the important parts of your lives play a leading role in your time together. Some Well groups like to meet monthly, or quarterly, depending on what nourishes the women in the group. Let your creativity shine!
Embrace Vulnerability & Trust
Feeling truly cherished and a sense of deep belonging are essential needs of every human being. So what keeps us from creating these types of relationships? Fear of vulnerability. Fear of not being or having enough. And not really knowing how to create these types of nourishing friendships as adults. So let compassion, listening, opening up, holding space for, and mutual support be the compass for your time together. Researcher and Author, Brene Brown, is doing incredible work in the field of relationships and I recommend you get started by using her Anatomy of Trust Free E-Course to bring a healthy sense of vulnerability and connection to your time together.
Focus on Balanced Investment
Here at Luminary, our whole approach to our Retreats & Courses is founded upon the vital and transformational power of the quality of each woman’s relationship to the most important areas of her life. We help you live into 1) your healthiest body, 2) thriving relationships with your dear ones, 3) a deep sense of worth and contentment and 4) toward your most inspiring work in the world. We encourage your Well group to talk about and work toward investment in these four important areas of your lives. And share in the journey together.
We can’t wait to hear about your Women’s Well Group, and how it nourishes and transforms your friendships. Send us a note and let us know!