“Learn to pause. Or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you.” -Doug King
There is a difference between knowing how important it is to slow down, create space, and cultivate inner connection, and actually taking the daily steps to DO IT. Believe me, as someone who helps other people develop healthy relationships with themselves, I absolutely know the value of putting in the actual time to be unscheduled, alone, present, and open to the quiet moments of my life. I teach people how to do this stuff.
But actually doing it…that’s a different story. What gets in the way? Of course I’m busy–we all are. I think it’s something deeper. Getting to know ourselves without all the embellishments of what we do–just being with who we are-–is extremely vulnerable. It’s a whole lot easier to check on that email, look again for new Instagram pics, like a few posts, get going on the laundry, start that new project, call someone up, get a head start for the next deadline, or click play on another Netflix episode instead.
Getting used to pausing, being with ourselves simply and wholly can be like a first date. Kinda awkward.
I mean, what should we actually say or do? What if we’re not likable or enough?
So I’m going to throw out that scary word again: vulnerability.
When was the last time you sat down and drank an entire cup of coffee or tea, from start to finish, with no multi- tasking? That means no computer, tv, phone, NPR, music, chores, conversations. Just you. (And no, espresso shots don’t count!)
Most of us need to learn how to lean into vulnerability so we can embrace it’s byproducts: creativity, connection, fulfillment, contentment, intimacy, joy.
If I want to actually experience those things, not just desire them or say I value them, then I have to practice putting down my 100lb. armor of busyness and open myself up to the sweet simplicity of me.
Time to grab a cup of coffee and try again.